We all have that one friend/family member that causes us to question our own sanity. You know the one who makes us wonder "Why do I keep allowing this person into my mental?" How is it that we KNOW that this person is Exactly who we know they are, yet we keep hoping beyond hope that this person doesn't mean to be this way...that this person isn't intentionally hurting YOU because they KNOW you'd never "do" them...yet are not surprised when they play you....yet again.
The incessant draw towards this individual could not be naivety, because that would suggest that we did not know certain truths. Even if we were to label it "LOVE", it would be a LIE...because a Love that would intentionally hurt ourselves, is a skewed version...not the Love that we seek. To believe that we HAVE to HURT for the sake of Love is a farce...and to repeatedly allow someone to hurt us, in the name of love, is totally against every precept of Love.
Should we call it LOYALTY? Probably not. Loyalty should be a two-way street, and these types of individuals are often identified by their ability to suck the life out of you...yet give not a drop of blood back...then make YOU feel guilty for mentioning that you thirst.
You stay supportive of their dreams. You are right there every time they fall, to help them back up. Any self doubt they have, you make it your mission to eradicate...but ask them to show up to support you? Find out how many lame #$$ excuses they can come up with in 60 seconds or less.
But we stick in there.......We Keep Coming Back.
W-H-Y?
At Some point these mean-spirited people need to be removed from our lives. Not because we stop caring about them, but because they care not about us. Oh sure they say they do...might even say they love you...might even be related to you...but you fail to recognize that the person most important to them is that one they find in their own mirror...and truthfully they do NOT feel bad about it. They DON'T KNOW HOW...don't fool yourself into believing that you are the only one either, because you are part of a long line of people they routinely devastate.
Think about that family member, who owes the whole family---who goes on & on about how people treat them. Think about that man who seems to blame every ex for what went wrong, yet the only thing these women have in common is falling for HIM?
Be Clear....A Leech is supposed to suck blood. They don't see anything wrong with sucking blood...its Food for them. In the same token, an EMOTIONAL LEECH sucks from your heart, meaning they KNOW you care...they just don't think they have to return that love...shoot, Everybody loves them in their mind!
SO....What Do We Do?
1) We Keep them at arms-length, which in the beginning is completely away. We tend to be weak where this person is concerned. This person knows your soft spot...don't you get it? So you have to step away until you can steady yourself in his or her presence. No, this isn't easy, but IS necessary if you don't want to remain in a lop-sided relationship.
2) We don't engage in lengthy conversations. This is where their vampire-like beauty lulls us into the trance that gets us GOT again. Next thing you know, your loaning money to the fiend...your in bed with a person you know can't be faithful....your listening to the problems of a person who won't answer your call when your stranded....Are you hearing me yet?
3) We create our mental "list of demands" that deal in reciprocity, and refuse anything less with that person. Look I know you have love for this person, else you wouldn't have read this far, and maybe, just maybe, they have a repressed gene that, if jogged the right way, will rise to the surface & kick in for fear of losing you in their lives....highly unlikely, but many movies have made millions that say its possible.
If you read my Blogs/Notes, then you know I've revisited this issue in different ways...friendships...relationships...kinship's....but find myself having to readdress it. Not just for each of you, who wear their hearts on their sleeves....not even just for those who value family like they value life...but for myself. People like these can easily make one become jaded & mistrusting of all....and I do not want to become that woman, because I do believe that GOOD & Honest people exist, but I honestly loathe game-players, & shady people who take my kindness for weakness...or take my love for granted (ooh, I feel a song comin' on- Que one of those Tyler Perry singers!!)--- I CHOSE to care about you, so I won't blame the world for that, but I will be just as intentional about removing you from my world to save self....Believe that.
Nite Fam~
